Bunnie XO is certain of one thing: faith pulled her through the darkest chapters of her life.
The "Dumb Blonde" podcast host and wife of Jelly Roll recently wrote a memoir, "Stripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic." In it, she lays bare her chaotic upbringing and the emotional highs and lows that defined the early years of her relationship with the singer-songwriter.
"I'm like a cat," the 46-year-old told Fox News Digital. "I've had nine lives, and I genuinely feel like God has always had His hand on my life. He has always been there in some way, even when I wasn't worthy of it, and even when I didn't acknowledge Him. Even when I was doing things that were not what He would want me to do, He still always pulled me out of it."
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"My mess became my message and my testimony," she shared. "I truly feel like leaning on God is the only thing that got me through some of the situations that I put myself in."
In her book, Bunnie describes how faith guided her through the darkest moments of her life, serving as a source of strength. She also recounts experiencing domestic violence in a past relationship and sexual assault.
When asked if she felt faith may have saved her life, she responded without hesitation, "100%."
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"I feel like we all need something to believe in," she explained. "If there was no hope in the world, the world would be worse off than it already is right now. And I think that faith gives people some sort of hope. I believe the power of Jesus is real. I've seen it. I've felt His hand."
Bunnie admitted she hit rock bottom "a few times," but said, "I never wanted to change." In the book, Bunnie describes turning to pills, cocaine and alcohol to escape reality and numb the effects of trauma from her upbringing.
"I think it takes people a couple of times of hitting rock bottom before they're like, 'I am tired. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired,'" she reflected. "And I think after I finally had a moment to look around, I was like, 'If I continue on this path that I'm on, I'm either going to end up dead or I'm just going to be another statistic of a Vegas working girl.'"
"I didn't want that to be my life story," she said. "I've never wanted to become my mother, and I was kind of following in her footsteps."
Growing up, Bunnie, whose real name is Alyssa DeFord, was close to her late father but struggled to connect with her stepmother, People magazine reported. According to the outlet, her mother left when she was just 3 months old, and they didn't reconnect until she was 22. Her mother died in 2022.
The outlet shared that Bunnie left home at age 14 and later endured an abusive relationship until meeting Jelly Roll at a 2015 concert in Las Vegas. The couple married in 2016.
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In the book, Bunnie described herself as a "coked-up bride" after Jelly Roll "had specifically asked me not to do blow before the wedding."
"… I was just wired to rebel against anybody that told me no," she told Fox News Digital. "... I've just always had that inner fire to not listen to direction or take direction well. It's definitely hindered me in life because I was a rebel without a cause."
"And I think that night we were just... I didn't take him seriously.... I didn't know my husband well enough to know that when he said something, he was serious about it. So it was more of me just kind of always doing what I had done."
"If I got drunk, I would do a line of coke and take a Xanax," she recalled. "I'm just thankful to still be here after mixing drugs like that for so long."
According to People, Bunnie previously worked as a high-end escort and built a lucrative career in sex work before stepping away in 2020. She was also active on OnlyFans until 2023, the outlet shared.
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"... I am only telling my story, and I don't mean to glamorize [sex work] in any way, because there's nothing glamorous about selling your body," she explained. "But when you're in survival mode, you teach yourself ways to get through life... without, I guess, having guilt about things."
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"... Now that I'm 46 years old, and I'm looking back at the 26-year-old me who had that mentality," she continued, "I just want to give her a hug because I want to be like, 'That wasn't power. That was you pacifying the abuse that you had gone through and trying to find a way to empower yourself.' It wasn't really empowering to me."
Today, Bunnie focuses on her career and family. She has been candid that sobriety didn't come easy, sharing that becoming a better stepmom to Jelly Roll's daughter, Bailee, was a major turning point in her decision to get sober.
"I think sobriety is a personal journey, and I feel like sobriety is different for every single person," she explained. "It's not black and white. For me, sobriety means that I can't take Xanax. I don't take any pills. I would never snort anything up my nose. I can't even do nasal sinus cleanings now because I have PTSD from all the drugs I did.
"I stopped drinking in 2018, but I will have one once in a blue moon - we were in Rome, and I was very honest about it with the public. I drank a glass of wine when I was in Rome because I was just like, 'Dude, I'm in Rome. I am going to drink a glass of wine.' But that's all I could take, a glass of wine."
Bunnie stressed that sobriety could look different to many people, adding that her approach may not reflect other recovery journeys.
"Everybody has their own definition of [their sobriety journey]. Some people can't have a glass of wine in Rome, and I respect that 100%. But for me, sobriety was a choice.... It's probably been one of the most rewarding journeys that I've been on."
"But at the same time, I always say to everybody, 'Sobriety sucks because that's when the real work begins.' You start to feel the emotions that you used to push down or that you would numb with substances."
Bunnie is now eager to see what the next chapter holds for her.
"I really hope that [my book] will touch anybody... and just let them know that it doesn't matter where you came from. It doesn't matter who told you you'd never amount to anything. If I can do it, you can certainly do it. I promise you."
